Sometimes I find myself really sad, because I haven't been really sad for a while.

Sometimes I write because I want to be read, not understood.

Sometimes I paint because I want to paint.

Sometimes I find myself really sad, because I haven't been really sad for a while.

Sometimes I find myself corrupted in the idea of "The World".


-


Sometimes I drink pessimism and feed on grief and sadness. It's my private feast.


-


One day, I had my hair dyed for the first time. The hairdresser showed me hundreds of colour palettes before my eyes. Bright red, eccentric yellows and you know, some other colours that you might only have seen on cartoons... I couldn't make the decision and asked him to pick one for me. It was like a personality test, and I allowed a stranger to write the description for me. It turned out to be Sienna Red. I looked into the mirror. I was thrilled, it's the first time I actually undergone a major change in my appearance. Yea, I was satisfied.


And then I went home, back to my little green room. I looked into the mirror again. The Sienna Red was shining on my head and my face was in a sickly green reflection. I looked extremely tired. It's like I haven't slept for ten years or my face have never stopped weeping.


I felt sad for the short-lived happiness I once had. I felt happy for co-existing with sadness.


-


Something more 'optimistic'.

I read Carver's Cathedral early in this morning. Took a short trip to Notre Dame with a doodle on a random piece of paper. Had dumplings with a little bit of kimchi. Poured myself a nice glass of sake and made a wish on the first day of lunar new year. No relatives, no parents, no Traditions, no role-plays. Just me and the refreshing air. Perfect.


Recent Posts

See All

睡了,沒有睡,從來沒有睡過

1 我出生時沒有電子 死時也不會有 所謂日新月異 我的日和月從來只有一個 或從來都沒有過 固執的人 2 似乎人生的命題總無法逃離「消極」這字 常有人說,要變得積極,要凡事向好的方向去想 但,「消極」這字並非你唯一的選擇 在云云辭海中,為何你偏要消極地將你眼前的我,禁錮在一片消極中? 3 重點從來都不是可以和不可以 而是我會,和不會 4 聽著巴赫的感覺真好 表露無遺、坦率地追求完美 這種完美又不至於